The one VERY surprising feature of ALL unhappy couples’ love lives: ‘They have no interest in it and it’s alarming’
- Australian couples trainer Dee Tozer has worked with over 5,000 couples
- Melbourne therapist says all couples should celebrate Valentine’s Day
- She says those who aren’t are likely to be unhappy in their relationship
An Australian couples therapist says celebrating Valentine’s Day could save your relationship on the right track.
Dee Tozer, from Melbourne, who has over 30 years of experience, says that of the 5,000 struggling couples she has worked with, almost all of them had no interest in celebrating the day.
Among her sessions with her clients, she noticed four common reasons why couples choose not to recognize the annual day.
“It is my responsibility and my personal investment to check in with my couples at 12 months and two years, after working with me. Ninety-four percent (non-cheating), 96%, post-cheating – say they are fine and haven’t looked back,” Dr. Tozer told Mamamia.
Dee Tozer (pictured, centre), from Melbourne, who has over 30 years of experience, says that of the 5,000 couples she has worked with, almost all of them had no interest in celebrating Valentine’s Day
While many believe Valentine’s Day is now over-commercialized and used as a money-making ploy, the day dates back to 5th-century Romans but wasn’t linked to romance until the 14th century.
Some couples may believe that love should be celebrated every day and not limited to just one day of the year, when the price of cards, chocolates and roses rises.
But those who don’t recognize the day are also likely to feel left out.
Dr. Tozer also believes that Valentine’s Day is a time for couples to focus on their relationship and celebrate their love.
“I sometimes liken a relationship to a merry-go-round, it’s fun but loses its excitement at every turn. It’s easy to lose sight of why they got on in the first place,” she said.
“The priority of spending time indulging in each other’s love is diluted to the point where not celebrating that love becomes the norm.”
Signs your partner is NOT the one: Eight red flags to watch out for in your relationship that signal it’s time to leave now
Keeping your cool in the early stages of a relationship means being aware of red flags – or signs that something is wrong.
Australian dating and relationship expert Louanne Ward understands how easy it is to let emotion take over and ignore the signals that things may not be what they seem.
She said many people ignore these warnings and enter a relationship that might not be a good fit despite the fact that the red flags were there from the start.
Some common indicators include:
1. Rushing a Relationship
2. They’re on social media but don’t have photos
3. They chase you but tell you they don’t know what they want
4. Watch for sudden outbursts of anger
5. One person controls the contact
6. They keep you at bay and don’t engage
7. Sex is always a topic of conversation
8. Constantly telling little lies
Couples with children often have little or no time for themselves, let alone romance – they usually focus all their energy on the children’s schedules.
When juggling work, children, family, social activities, playing sports, parents can find themselves exhausted at the end of the week.
Valentine’s Day gives couples an excuse to find a babysitter, go out to dinner, and spoil themselves.
Dr. Tozer believes Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for couples to focus on their relationship and celebrate their love. ‘I sometimes liken a relationship to a merry-go-round, it’s fun but loses the excitement at every turn. It’s easy to lose sight of why they went on the ride in the first place,’ she said (stock image )
Dr. Tozer claims to have heard various complaints from men and women about how they act in response to common misconceptions.
For example, some may say that Valentine’s Day is about the husband’s wives, when the day should be about celebrating the relationship as a whole.
Dr. Tozer says he has heard men complain about buying flowers and gifts for their partner without even receiving a thank you in return, while women may believe their partner just wants sex.
When did Valentine’s Day become romantic?
Valentine’s Day is a holiday when lovers express their affection through greetings and gifts.
It is also called Valentine’s Day. The party expanded to express the affection between relatives and friends.
Valentine’s Day was not celebrated as a romantic day until around the 14th century.
Formal messages, or valentines, appeared in the 1500s, and by the late 1700s commercially printed cards were in use.